One of the big myths in sexy is that there's some magic technique that drives women wild. And that if you learn this technique you will be a great lover. That's not how it is. What generally happens is that men make a lot of mistakes that detract from the sexy. These mistakes are so distracting that she can enjoy herself because men are doing a lot of things wrong. The biggest advance where men can improve themselves sexually is to stop doing the things that detract from the woman's sexual experience. There are lots of things that distract from the sexy and make it not work for her. A lot of it has to do with timing, waiting till she's ready for it. Other things have to do with being comfortable, the bed feeling right, getting into the right position, and lubrication.

Getting in at the right angle is important. Maybe you're pinching her or cutting off the circulation to her leg. Other factors include having enough lubrication; how you smell; and the room temperature. All these things can be distractions. If she's not ready and these problems are taking away from the sexy then she might have wanted to come, but she can't because things aren't right and she can't focus on the sexy.

There may be psychological barriers. Maybe you just had a fight and she's thinking about that. Maybe you're moving to quickly and to rough. Maybe she doesn't feel entirely safe with you in that she doesn't feel comfortable being as sexually open with you as she would like to be. Women want screaming mad sexual ecstasy, but not with someone whom might not be able to handle it. And if she feels she has to hold back then she isn't going to have as good a time with you as she would like to have.

But it's important to understand that she wants it. She want's you to drive her wild. And if you don't mess it up it's going to happen. But most guys mess it up because they don't understand a lot of basic things that are easy to learn. Things they never taught to you. Things that seem obvious when you hear them. All you have to do is learn and learn how to learn on your own. All women are different so you have to learn what your sexy partner wants. So part of learning how to fuck is learning how to learn what the woman you are with likes. Some women will just tell you what they want, but most won't, unless you invite them to.

Giving a woman what she wants sexually is a lot like taking her out to eat at a restaurant. The waitress comes and asks what you want. Suppose you order for her; you're just guessing what she likes. You might order what you like and hope she likes the same thing. But just because you like broccoli doesn't mean she'll like broccoli. If you order for her you might get lucky and you might not.

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However, if you ask her what she wants and she tells you, then when you order for her she'll be getting what she wants to eat, and she'll be a lot more likely to enjoy the meal. In other words, you become much better at ordering dinner for her because you know what she likes. After many dates you know what places she like to go to and what she wants and you have no problem pleasing her. And she thinks you're a great date because she tells you what she wants and you give it to her.

sexy is just the same way. You can guess what she likes and read books about different techniques that work on different women. You can do different things you've learned and hope that it works, and maybe you'll get lucky. But the best way to find out is to ask. And in order to ask, you have to have a sexually trusting relationship where she feels comfortable telling you. This process of learning your ladies preferences is a very key part of becoming a great lover. Make a note of this because I will be coming back to it over and over again.

Male vs. Female Orgasms

One big difference between men and women is the orgasm. One interesting fact is that humans are the only primates where the female even has an orgasm. Males in all primate species always have orgasms, and there's a reason for this that a lot of women might not want to hear. The reason that men are more reliable in having orgasms is that the male orgasm is necessary for reproduction to occur. If the male doesn't ejaculate, the woman doesn't become pregnant. But not necessary for the female to come in order to reproduce. A woman can get pregnant if she comes or not, but if the male doesn't come then no children are going to result. We are all the descendents of men who can come, not men who can't. It is my theory, from the evolutionary point of view that orgasmically defective males throughout history failed to pass on their genes as compared to fully functional males. Therefore, we are the descendants of the males who could come, not the ones who can't.

Women on the other hand can reproduce without orgasm. The orgasm does help women retain sperm and it does stimulate the man to produce more sperm. So hotter women are favored by evolution over women who aren't as hot. But because the orgasm isn't necessary, more women have trouble coming than men do. I will note however that a woman who has an orgasm is more likely to get pregnant than a woman who doesn't have one. So there is an evolutionary basis favoring women's orgasms.

Women have the advantage that they can usually come more times than men can although this isn't always the case. Some women can come 30 times in a row at one minute intervals. Others have one good orgasm and that's it. Some just don't come at all. It isn't a reflection necessarily of how good a lover you are but that's just the way they are. And it also varies with their age, stress factors, if they've had children, if they're on medication or hormonal based birth control. And you find out about these things by talking to your partner and asking her about herself.

Women are more complex sexually than men. Men are rather simple; they have a dick, they want to fuck. You rub the dick and it comes, not really complex. When it comes down to it we are really only good for one thing. However, I'm good at opening jars too so I guess that doesn't apply to me.